Anger
Anger can significantly impact our quality of life - affecting your relationships, your career and overall well-being. When out of control, anger can become destructive. On the flip side anger helps to relieve built-up energy and tension. Feeling angry is a natural response to certain life experiences. It’s a basic emotion; occurring at times when we come under attack, feel deceived, insulted or frustrated.
Whilst expressing anger can be a healthy way of managing the emotion, when excessive, it can become a problem. Even symptoms of excessive anger may reveal complex issues; it can be a symptom of, and contribute to, certain mental health problems and sometimes make existing problems worse.
However, there are ways to control your anger more effectively and lessen the impact it’s having on your daily life.
Anxiety
When feelings of anxiety last a long time it can be overwhelming. Feelings of anxiety is common, the tense or uncertainty about a situation and the potential stress level it may cause, can trigger our 'fight or flight' responses. Anxiety is used to describe feelings of worry, fear and unease. Both our emotional and physical sensations experience agitation when we are worried or nervous. Whilst unpleasant, this is a normal reaction when our body perceives a threat.
Such things as an exam, starting a new job, or moving home will affect us, some of us will be affected more than others.
Bereavement
The experience of someone who was important to you dying, can be difficult to process. You might be finding it difficult to adjust to the changes happening in your life right now. Your beliefs, your routines, and even your sense of normality can be shaken up.
Bereavement is the time we spend adjusting to loss. There is no right or wrong way to feel during the bereavement period - everyone copes in their own way.
Grief, although normal, can manifest in unexpected ways. Bottling up your feelings or denying your sadness can prolong your pain. Some people get angry, some people withdraw into themselves and some people become completely numb. Sometimes, grief can trigger mental health conditions, like depression.
Bereavement counselling can provide support during these very difficult times. Bereavement counselling tries to help people with their loss so they can carry on with life and eventually find acceptance.
Coping Skills
There are many ways to cope with the situation we face, some healthy some destructive. The challenges we face can be emotional in other words how we feel e.g. sad, lonely, angry etc or problem based where you ask 'do I need to change the situation?' e.g. change your behaviour or remove yourself from the situation. In my experience issues such as work-related stress, suicidal thoughts, sexual problems, or redundancy for example, have not necessarily been the main issue. Gaining meaning and understanding as to what has led to what is the presenting problem can sometimes become the true focus of your journey.
It is important to remember it is your journey and you are in charge.
Depression
The affect of depression on our daily life can make it hard for you to enjoy day to day activities. On some days just getting out of bed may feel impossible. We all have times where we feel sad, and finding enjoyment in our lives seem distant at best. Then, when you contrast these feelings with other days where you may feel more able to go about your normal daily tasks, making sense of things becomes a real challenge.
Living with depression can be incredibly difficult, for both those suffering and those around them. Due to the nature of the condition, however, seeking help can often be delayed.
Men's Issues
Some of the more traditional ways that men have learned to deal with their emotions can sometimes lead to mental health or relationship difficulties. Common men’s issues: experience of an emotion was unacceptable; underlying anxiety (e.g., performance anxiety) and depression can contribute to sexual difficulties; anger, having disastrous effects on relationships; Partners of men can sometimes feel emotionally distant when they want someone to listen or communicate love.
Therapy can help men identify, preserve and strengthen relationships through learning to deal with, and effectively express emotions in ways that are more adaptive to the situation at hand.
Relationships
Relationships require a great deal of work, including an investment of time, good social skills and energy, to stay strong and go the distance. A healthy relationship with our loved ones, friends and work colleagues allow us to be most productive. These relationships can often be an important source of support, advice, guidance and love .
However, meaningful relationships are not automatic. Gaining happiness and fulfilment in a relationship requires us to put in the effort. Relationships can be very one-sided and if the two people are not seen as equals, problems can occur, recognising it is a two way street and finding a balance is important. Over time, as we learn new things we gain an understanding of the tipping point of how to achieve fulfilling and supportive relationships.
However, sometimes relationships break down, for whatever reason, causing us to feel lonely, disappointed and unsure of ourselves. In some cases, our relationships may not be meeting our expectations, the affect being that it impacts our happiness and life satisfaction. For others, they may crave companionship yet find them very difficult to come by.
Self-esteem
Our Self-esteem is influenced by lots of different things. It could be linked to our attachment style as well as events where we are in the spotlight either being praised or experiencing embarrassment. When we have low self-esteem the way we perceive and value things around us, we can see both ourselves and the world around us in a negative light. The feeling of unhappiness going into a situation may cause you to find it more difficult to cope, leading you to withdraw or even isolation yourself.
Over time low self-esteem can have a negative impact on our mental health. You may also find having certain mental health conditions impacts your self-esteem.
Stress
Stress is something most people experiences stress can motivate us from time to time, too much or prolonged stress can be damaging to both our physical and mental health.
The causes of stress vary, including work, relationships, family issues and financial problems. The forming of unhealthy coping methods can be an outcome of stress such as smoking or drinking - and while this may feel like a quick fix, ultimately these are covering the issue. Recognising what causes you stress and learning how to control these feelings effectively, is a step in the right direction in feeling good and living a healthier and happy life.
Trauma
The impact of witnessing or experiencing a stressful event can affect us psychologically as well as emotionally. Your sense of security can be undermined if you feel your safety is threatened or your well being is put at risk. There are many different causes of trauma.The feeling of helplessness can feel crippling leaving our emotional state to be in turmoil, causing an adverse or extreme reaction to similar events.
The important thing to remember is that it’s not the circumstance or event in itself that signals trauma, but what your emotional experience was of the event. The more frightened or helpless you feel, the more likely you are to be traumatised. For some people a car backfiring would send them running for cover under a table yet of others its just a car backfiring. In another instance seeing a spider could send someone screaming out of the room for others, not bothered at all, in fact would want to hold the spider. This is to say that not everyone will react to the same event in the same way.